I need to cry. I need to cry sooo badly. it just wont come out. I dont know. ben has had rob's other phone for the entire week... yeahhh and I havent talked to him once.. how super is that. and not only did that make me mad. not sad, but mad.. but rob said that he's been texting someone, but he doesnt know who.. I'd love to know who personally. really though. we're not in a relationship. who am I to get jealous. who am I to get angry about this.. who am I to jump to all these fricken conclusions about him being with someone else. I'll tell you who, cause I hate getting involved with people for this exact reason. I dont want to get hurt. or even come near it. this is where the crazy me comes out and I flip out.. and half the time its over nothing. I am so mad. I dont care if I'm a hipocrit. honestly I care more if I get hurt than him. and I "did" whoever to spite him, when really it was me who was getting spited. it was me who got hurt. it was me who got angry. I don't get it. last weekend he was fine, we were fine. or so I thought? maybe not.. apparently not. you'd think he'd call or text considering he's done plenty of that.. or ahh to tell me he is working tonight?.. and tomorrow.. so he can have sunday and monday off or something?. I am sooo glad I am hearing this from kyle and rob. I honestly wish I hadn't talked to them today. then I'd just be mad that he didnt call me.. not that I think he is doing whatever with whoever. I don't know. I really dont I need to cry. but I cant. and I wont. it wont work until all this anger and jealousy is built up and I can't deal with it anymore. probably at a really horrible and innapropriate time.. errr