I think about you or I come across your name and I honestly want to throw up. I don't know why. maybe I'm jealous. still. maybe I can't get over the pain you were involved in, and I know I would feel similarly if you weren't who you are, if you weren't who you were to him then. I hate the time in my life you represent. the pain you caused and the thoughts I still have. you're the reason I'm so scared and insecure. You created the situation, the reason I am the way I am with him. and really, i should be the one you hate. Technically I was in the wrong, I was the problem, but I'm still here and you're not. Who knows where you are to be honest. I hate the idea that he could have ever had feelings or loved someone else. I don't want to accept it. evidence of my insecurity.