yesterday.. I sent him a text. I said, I know said I'm done. and I know you don't really care. but can we lay.. just for a little while. and he didn't reply for a little while, and I was okay. and then he said.. 'casey.. I do feel like an asshole for fucking you over..and I would seriously say yes to that.. and I do care about you I always will i'll do anything to help you out' I cried. he wasn't home.. but later he said 'night you... :]' and I was just like. night? :/ he said, 'well I am here now..' I was on my way to meet molly for hot chocolate... I told him. he said, do what you need to do, you know where I am this time of night. I went over.. I had 10 minutes before I had to pick up larry. and he just held me..and ran his hands over my head and face and through my hair.. and I didn't cry. not at first. and then I started to. and he moved, and pulled me closer. and tried to look at my eyes. I tried to hide them. and he pulled me closer. I was late. I said I had to go. It was so hard to say it. I didn't want to leave. I couldn't make myself do it. i started to cry larry calls. "I'm driving." I cry harder. he holds me tighter. I get up. put my shoes on. get my keys. walk out. I coudln't look at him. I cried.. and I drove. he sent me a text.. "are you ok? :/" "no." 'did you wanna finish tonight?' I said, its so hard when the person I want to run to is the person who did this to me. yet I still run to you. he said, "well I'm here for you" I said,I didn't wan to cry in front of you. I didn't want to leave. he said, " i know and I know but it does feel better I said, I didn't think this would happen again, I actually began to think that you thought I was enough. I didnt know I would feel like this, that you could hurt me like this. he said, "I didn't eitehr and I dont feel good about it. it kills to hear you cry." he asked if I wanted to see him today. I said maybe.. ok. yeah. he said, ok " talk to you tomorrow then? :] I said, thank you. and I'm sorry. "you're sorry?" I said, I'm sorry for keeping you up. I'm sorry for coming to you. He said, "so? I'll always be there fo ryou :] no matter what :] sweet dreams you. I'll talk to you tomorrow :]" why. why cant he just be together. things be back to how they were. I don't want to cry to him. I don't want to rely on him. I don't know if talking to him is making it better. when he said he'd do anything he could to help me.. when he said he'd always care. that helped. it also made me cry harder, and want to be with him more so than I already do. I don't know how to get past this. I don't know what I can do. I want him to realize that we should be together. he doesn't get it. why.