haha my fucking life. is shit. and I love it. and it's new years eve. and I'm getting belligerantly hammered. WOOOOHOOOO! uhhh, honestly, I am going to tell him that we can't see eachother anymore.. in any way. I don't even know if we can if he says he is going to change. although I doubt he will say we will change because I honestly think he's oblivious to what he does. He's just oblivious. He doesnt understand .. or see it. at all. I may push him away but not as much as others... not at all. And I deserve someone better, treated better, someone that will go get me a fucking whoopie pie at the fucking store and just drop it off because he can. fuck. Because it's the little things, it's the "goood morning, have a good day" that really matter. This is bad love. bad bad bad. I need to be in good love, I need to be cared about. SO WHAT, THE SEX IS GOOD, and thats what I wanted in the beginning, and the thought of me getting what I wanted. I'll feel better when this is over, whether we talk or not. I just need him to understand where I'm coming from, and why, and how I feel, his understanding of it would make me feel better. and give me closure. Its the Platinum that makes me mad, it's the other girl's picture on his computer. fucking kill me oh my god. if he wants someone, has feelings for her, why not tell me we can't see eachother anymore.. why not tell me that there's someone else. It's not that hard. its not like hes going to hurt me. ahh I can't deal with hit. he's so dumb. but tonight I am going to have a decent time.. I'm going to not think about him, I'm going to enjoy myself... and be happy. happy happy happy. and get some maybe.. that could be a good time.