I need to just... stop. stop talking to him. can't see him. can't want to see him. why do I want to put up with this. he has this way of making me feel terrible about myself. I don't understand it. I don't want to get back together with him. he needs to stop talking to me. Thats the only way I wo n't give in. I need him to tell me why, and explain how he thinks I should let him run back to me when she doesn't want him. I know I shouldnt have seen him. I have the upper hand. yet I still feel helpless. so helpless. and I'm sad. kind of. I'll feel better when i talk to him. aaron always finds a way to make me feel worse. I know its not intentional. I know he thinks I shouldn't be with him. because hes stupid and we're so fucked up and we don't communicate. I just ahhh. I love chris. I don't know.