i just decided that i'm giving up on men (of course anyone who follows my diary knows this won't last). "sex changes things, it always does." i just got that from will and grace. grace said it to will. what a wise woman. besides, all i really need is bob. b.o.b. (battery operated boyfriend). of course bob won't talk to me or hold my hand and make me feel special, lol. but who needs that? (i need that). at this very moment i'm regretting having sex with alomost every guy i've ever slept with. it has made a couple friendships akward for me. not so much for me as the other people involved. i think i'll try and get into painting again. atleast with painting, photography, and the gym i'll be able to keep myself busy enough to stay out of trouble (drunken trouble). "don't get attached, it ends tonight." that's a song lyric from nice guys band (C9). that was my way of thinking for so long. i kept all of my relationships casual and always told myself to not get attached, because it would be over soon and to just live in the moment. getting attached means getting hurt. so now i'm taking it one step further and not getting attached because it will now end before it even starts. i won't put myself into situations that can end in empty feelings. when guys call i won't go hang out with them. well maybe i will, but i won't hook up with them. i won't go out and party as much as i used to. i've said this all before so lets see if it sticks this time. (it won't).