so i was supposed to hang out with J14 last night but of course bitched out. i'm shy and it takes me awhile to get used to people. he used to live in an apartment with his girlfriend but when they broke up he moved back home to his parents house. so we both live with our parents and would have had nowhere to drink at anyways. he has a van since he's in a band and said we would hang out in there...but to me drinking in a van screams sex (which i couldn't have had anyways because it's the wrong time of the month). so i told him i was really tired and that we would for sure hang out next week. he was "dissapointed" but whatever. i felt super bad cuz he really seemed bummed out about it. said he had been looking forward to it and wanted to get to know me outside of a party setting and sober. boo at that. then i woke up this morning with a sore throat and i feel like i'm getting sick. so hopefully i feel better by next monday or wednesday when we hang out. if i flake on him again he'll probably write me off. my friend whose house i met him at says he's a super nice guy...i really think he's one of the few genuinely nice guys (and that scares me...a lot). it's so much easier to like the jerk guys because deep down i know i won't have to end up getting all close to 'em (like K7). nice guys make me nervous...i should give it a chance though (and probably will), but it's going to take awhile.