ok so this was his response to my myspace message: "yes, you do have a drinking problem, and yes, i do wish you would stop. i understand you being shy and all and wanting to loosen up but i believe you should overcome that on your own, i know you can. i had no idea you got raped and im sry that it happened. but i didnt think you were wierd in the 1st place for abstaining. but as for the alcohol almost everytime i talked to you you were drinking, when i went to see you you were drinking, and thats "ehh" to me. im sry that i had sex with you then it seems like i totally blew you off, just to let you know i wasnt in it just to hit and quit it, but thats how it ended up looking like, i am going to be truthful to you, like a day after i gave you the silent treatmeant i met this girl, and we are talking and hanging out a lot, and im sry but yah.... yah you will get your manson CD but idk how long it'll take me to get it to you, seeing on how lazy i am.. i just wish you would cut back a lot on drinking, like every once in a while? haha.. well i do still want to talk to you, but only as friends" ok that killed me. the only as friends part, and finding out he's already seeing someone else. i just started crying after i read that. i felt soooo incredibly horrible, and still kind of do. i responded with this: "that's pretty much all i could ask for. i just wanted to make sure you didn't hate me. after the thing with my dad and then vanessa i just couldn't take someone else not talking to me." then he signed on and immed me and here's our conversation: him [11:20 AM]: word to yo mother me [11:21 AM]: ahoy hoy him [11:21 AM]: what cha doin me [11:21 AM]: drinking me [11:21 AM]: j/k him [11:21 AM]: lol dork me [11:21 AM]: no just waiting for my best friend to call, she's flying in sometime today him [11:21 AM]: o from where me [11:22 AM]: i probably should find out when me [11:22 AM]: san francisco him [11:22 AM]: o saweet me [11:22 AM]: my "bestest" him [11:22 AM]: haha him [11:22 AM]: hey gots to oshower, ill see ya later me [11:22 AM]: later ok that conversation was the way it was before we started seeing eachother. as if nothing had ever happened. i guess it's better than the silent treatment, but it still sucks. it's sad to admit this but i hope the new girl isn't as pretty as me and i hope it doesn't work out. god i hate this. i've come to realize that i'm just a "filler." the girl that u get with inbetween getting with the girls u actually like. they want to mess around with me til something better comes along. gah.