i need a boy. not sex from a boy, just a boys attention. nnnnneeeeeeeeeedd. i don't want to die alone with 20 cats. yelling obscenities at the neighborhood children. keeping the soccer balls that fly over the fence. i have all these anti love anti feeling views that i don't want to have. i don't want to be bitter. i don't. i want to be happyyyyyy...but then again who doesn't? i want i want i want. i feel so selfish. i have today and tomorrow off and i'm bored out of my freakin' mind. it's too hot to go do anything. i want to go to the beach but i have no one to go with. the one friend i used to go to the beach with isn't really my friend anymore. i miss her a lot. things have changed so much. i can't even remember the way things were in highschool. for any of you still in highschool, enjoy things while they last and don't take them for granted. and when people change don't get mad at them because everyone changes. you may not understand it at the time but you will some day when you yourself change. i've changed. not always for the better but i'm different now. too bad everyone can't just accept that. i'm still me, just slightly different. i got off track here...oh yeah, 2 days off and nothing to do. i'll go to the gym after the movie i'm watching is over. the gym. god i live a boring life. work, gym, books. yay me. what do people do for fun? i'm used to just partying. there has to be other fun things to do than drinking, kegs, hot random boys, etc. the people i used to party with are out of my life so what now. what am i supposed to do for the rest of my life? blahweoihfouhrg. who cares. thats it i want to find boys. nice ones. nice cute ones. don't u hate how the nice guys aren't hot and the hot guys aren't nice? i hate that. blah i work til 1:30am friday night because the stupid harry potter book comes out. then til midnight saturday. so looks like this weekend will be a bust...story of my life. i just wrote a whole lot of nothing. lame. good day sir.