so it seems as if the verdict of the whole friends with benefits thing is to only do it if it's just fun. no feelings. as of right now it's that time of the month so i might not even have the option of hooking up with my soon to be friends with benefits guy this weekend. which atleast gives me more time to think about it. there's this guy that i met at a party last weekend that has cool hair, he keeps calling me. i usually just send him to voicemail. why is it that its the guys that don't call that i always want? maybe i should just start answering the phone when this guy calls and actually give him a chance. i mean, he's physically my type...maybe if i get to know him i'll find that he's more than just a hot guy. a guy friend of mine posted a bulletin on myspace that talked about a lot of different things. one of those things was the typical party girl that isn't content til she has someone to go home with at the end of the night. it talked about how those are the girls that don't get the respect, yadda yadda. his bulletin reminded me of myself...not always like that, but lately i have been that way. i always need affection and attention. usually i just wanted to make out with someone, but the past few weekends i've been hooking up with guys instead of just kissing them... so i'm 19 years old, and have had sex with 8 guys. i fell in love at the age of 16 and lost my virginity. that guy broke my heart and i didn't sleep with anyone else for a year or so. at 18 i had sex with someone else because he was super hot and i was drunk. had sex with one other guy at the age of 18 (bringing the count up to 3 guys). then at the age of 19 i slept with 5 more guys over a 6 month period (the last 3 were all in one month). out of the 8 guys, there are 2 of em that i don't know their last names. and all but 3 of the guys were casual one night stand type of hook ups. ever since i was in love and lost my virginity i haven't been able to let anyone in. i can only sleep with guys that i don't have feelings for. this is because i fear getting attached to them, and then heartbroken (again). so evrything has been for fun with no emotional attachments. when i actually do have feelings for a guy i make up lame excuses to leave before it goes too far. i don't want to get hurt, but i think it's time for me to give people chances. maybe then i'll have less one night stands and more actual relationships. so anyways (got off track there for awhile), i know i need to tone it down. in my mind i'm always wanting attention. and i seem to look for one person each time i go out to give me that attention. what i need is one guy to give it to me all the time rather than i different guy everytime. so maybe it can be the cool hair guy. i hope he doesn't give up because i've sent him to voicemail so many times. is it my fault he calls when i'm sleeping cuz i have class the next day? no. so yeah, time to tone it down and find a boy that will last for more than one night. blah, giving guys chances to get to know me is always a hard thing to do (for me atleast). i hope i can change my casual ways. i haven't had an actual boy friend in about 3 years, and i dumped him after 3 days cuz he called me too damn much. i want the attention, but then i get annoyed by it? wtf? why am i so weird? ok so yeah...advice, as always, is much needed. should i try and let someone in for once instead of jumping from guy to guy?