so he called wednesday night (well it was like midnight so technically thursday mornin). i answered with the "whats up tit for tat" thing and he pretended to not know what i was saying. i was like what did u do this weekend, he said went to havasu, i said well then who did u do this weekend. he played dumb so i was like i heard about the fat 35 year old u got with. he said he was trashed and that he barely remembers it and that is was a mistake. i told him i didn't feel safe getting with him knowing that he's hooking up with dirty ass girls. he was like not girls just one girl. i was like fool we've been hooking up for almost a year u can't possible expect me to believe that you've only had sex with one other girl since then. he said it was the truth and that he's sorry it was a mistake. i usually hear about all the dumb shit he does because he's one of those guys that everyone knows, and this is the first time i've heard about him getting with someone else. but still, a fat 35 year old with kids! he was like everyone does stupid shit while drunk, i was like yeah i get trashed but i've never hooked up with a fat old man. i told him he makes me feel like shit. not just the fat girl but the fact that he ignored me the last time i was in the same place as him. plus he was hanging out with other girls. he said sorry he was drunk, and that his friend picked them up not him. i was like so how do u think it feels being ignored by the guy you've been hooking up with for a year. our conversation went on like that for awhile. he mostly just said sorry to everything i said. his phone lost reception a couple times and each time he called back to get verbally abused by me some more. i think most guys would have been like fuck this bitch and not called back, but he did. i told him that i can't be casual with him anymore. he was like its not like u ever call me, and i was like so u only call me at around 2am i'm not dumb i know what it means when a guy only calls u early in the morning. i was with people and had wandered off to talk to him so i was finally like ok i'm with people i have to go so call me when u dont want to just be casual (he's not too smart and i doubt that he knows i meant when he wants a relationship). so anyways, he called last night/this morning at 3am but i was so tired i sent him to voicemail before i realized who it was that was calling. just as i realized it was him my phone made the voicemail noise and he had left me a message. he said something along the lines of "hey just wanted to see what you're doing and see if u wanted to chill or if ur still mad at me, call me back on my cell." i want him to call again so i can be like ok you did nothing wrong you're not my boyfriend and you can get with whoever you want, but it won't be me anymore unless you're willing to commit to me so i don't feel used anymore. i'll tell him to think about it and call me when he knows what he wants. i know he's an asshole but he's my asshole. if that makes any sense at all. i'm going to give him the chance to make things right, and if we do end up together and he cheats on me then i'll break his legs. yeah that sounds good. i'm expecting some comments telling me i'm dumb for wanting to be with him after everything he's done and how he's made me feel. i don't mind be truthful. have a swell day everyone.