night before last i was realllly fucked up. i had texted NG and we talked like normal people for awhile. by the time i got home i was completely wasted and got online and immed him and G. poor G deals with so much with me. he has put up with a lot from me but i think he's finally done with my drama. i'm one of those people who never shares anything with anyone, but for some reason i tell G a lot...too much. he couldn't deal with me and all the shit i laid on him out of nowhere. and then i thought it would be a good idea to text K7 because i needed someone to talk to and he was the only person i knew that wouldn't judge me and my irrational thoughts (because he's a crazy alcoholic). so we had a completely normal conversation. i basically just listened to him talk because i was drunk and sad and had nothing to say to him. he told me that he recently found out he's a father. ha ha he found out over myspace! some girl he used to hook up with sent him a fuckin myspace message to tell him she gave birth to his kid...not that she was pregnant, but that she had already given birth to his kid. he said he's going to get a paternity test which i agree is a good idea. i mean why else would she have waited until she gave birth...to see what or who the kid looks like. like hmm does my baby look like a mexican, or white kid. all i said was this is why u should use condoms ha ha. he also talked about how he has court soon for his 2 DUI's...yeah, 2. and other random stuff. i was feeling better so i decided it was time to go to bed. we said out goodbyes (i hadnt talked to him in almost a year) and i went to bed. and then like 10 minutes later my cell rings and its the number he called me from earlier so i answer "hello" and he responds "i love you." yeah random. i said what, and he said i love u again. i kinda flipped out i was like are u drunk? i am too fucked up to deal with this shit right now kris, what the fuck. he just kept telling e he loved me and that i needed to know that blah blah. i was like uhh ur drunk and telling me u love me will not get u laid homie, and he hung up. he didnt sound drunk the first time we talked so i dont know what the fuck happened or why he suddenly had to do that. i was like uh u cant just tell a girl u love her after not talking to her for a year, ha ha he said he lost my number. wtf ever. i know he drunkenly loses and breaks his phones on a regular basis but we know a lot of the same people and he could have easily gotten my number. it was just weird because he used to just say "so u wanna hang out" when he wanted to get some. i love u is a bit much just to get some, especially since during the 2 years we were hooking up he never even so much as said he liked me let alone loved me. i wish he would have been slurring so atleast i'd know he was drunk. weird. just weird. and through all of this, and all of these other guys, i still miss nate (NG). i think i can stop using all of these letters and numbers because after 4 years theres just too many guys to keep up with and im getting confused my damn self ha ha. and oh yeah i didnt end up hooking up with garrett that night. he fell asleep and didnt hit me up until 6am the next morning. and its a good thing because i was quite drunk that night and he doesnt drink at all and would have been quite turned off by me. bleargh.