ode to billy idol. ENOUGH IS ENOUGH IS ENOUGH IS ME SLEEPING THE LAST 2 DAYS WHEN I WASNT AND I REPEAT WHEN I WASNT PLOTTING ON OR GETTING ON AND DRINKING ON. sober living has not been so sober for me these last few weeks. and im feeling worse each day. because i dont want to but i have to and need to and dont care and then i do care and now im stuck in this incredibly sinking rut that just feels deeper and deeper with each passing hour and day and moment. and i dont know. what to do. and im tired of complaining and missing and fucking it all up just because i can and my only way of ever moving on is by self sabotage and making sure i lose each chance that comes my way. that way. i can fail without true complaint. and i ramble for no reason.