It's true, there isn't. Well at least I can't. I can't do anything about anything. Eventually it all ends. I've decided not to move. I'm not ready. I'm not going to leave M yet. I'll try a little harder to be a better person. A million hurtful things. That's a lot to make up for. I'm dreaming in Nintendo style lately. It's like some twisted video game that includes almost everyone I know playing a certain part. Weird. I have to stop eating before bed. I have to stop eating at all. Food is making me sick lately. I think it might just be my nerves. I am going to make the best of every situation. I am not going to worry about K or P or SEB. I am not going to worry about anything that I cannot in someway control or fix. I have made it this far. What's a few more days? Months? Years? It's hard knowing deep down inside that something's wrong. That there has to be some reason for why you feel like an emotional roller-coaster all the time. A reason why you snap. Yell. Pulsate with anger. Over the smallest things. Trivial things. It's hard not being able to fix yourself. I can train my heart yet I can't completely fix it. It's frustrating wondering how you ended up like this. I remember being such a happy kid. A dreamer. A wisher. A nice person. A good person. I mutated. I guess we all do. Today is Friday. My favorite day of the week. My problem is being too serious now. I had a sense of humor before. A good one. Hmm. "It's a wicked world we live in...it's cruel" Yes, that's true. But maybe things can get better. Maybe if you work hard enough. Maybe. Enjoy the day. Done.