"And in the end I shall rule." [Don't ask] [Don't tell] I'm barely awake. Tossing and turning all night. Horrible. My face was HOT all night. sweating. I had the fan on HIGH and than MEDIUM. and still no change. no coolness. TODAY: 1. go talk to skateboarders. 2. drop video off at Dani's. 3. avoid M. 4. write some of my article. 5. call SEB / see if she wants to go out. 6. probably not go out. 7. go to bed. WOW! I have such an impressive life. I don't know how I handle it all. HAHAHAHAHA. Yeah anyways. M is on my last nerve. I'm not sure anymore of what's keeping me here. I hate everything about this town. I do. I used to love it here. i never wanted to leave. But oh how one psycho person can change that for you. in a heart ACHE. I still care for her. i just don't care to live with her. I'm too old. and too tired. (Crack of the back) I need MY life to begin, ya heard? Anyways. I don't have much to do anymore. I have no money, so my extravagant lifestyle of before has been put on hiatus until further notice. O damn my LUCK! It's my own fault though. I had 3 job offers. and i kept quitting. I kept holding out for the better deal. Until well I landed at a job I knew I'd hate and ended up quitting with only a week more of training to go. But, I'm a silly goose like that. I don't like to use that thing called a brain. I prefer to get out there and just leap without looking. I'm into braindead adventure. "It's all good though." Sometimes I wonder what it would be like if I would've been one of those Purty Barbies. You know. THe thin-mini's with the long hair, usually blonde, with big happily shallow blue eyes, and the brain capacity of a dead field mouse. Oh if only. But NO. I had to be born some dark haired, dark eyed, emotionally unstable, pot smoking, liquor drinking, wanna be poet SLASH artist...who will most likely end up like a dead field mouse. Oh damn FATE. My enemy. My friend. My love. And it goes on. thank D_O_G. So here I sit. Nervous about asking people questions. I don't like interviewing people. That's why I stopped bothering with the school newspaper. I do these things. and than I quit. I'm a professional quitter. The best. Seriously. I guess I should be thinking up questions and doing some sort of work. I don't think it's my looks or weight that might scare PRD off. I think it may be my total lack of caring when it comes to my classes and work. I'm a slacker. A deep-in-it-never-gonna-get-out slacker. Because I'm good at not caring. I'm going to have to work on my ATTITUDE ADJUSTMENT. Right now. I am off. To make up some work. And hopefully not make an ass of myself. Than again. Being an ass can be fun, I imagine. So until the next episode... Be still. Be happy. And if you can't be those... Be somethin' damnit. "She went out like a lightbulb on crack." DFN.