I think she was drunk when I came home. I'm not in the mood to argue. It doesn't matter. I spend my money on 'happy' times. I am becoming addicted to the feeling again. If I would. I probably could. Some day I'll say I should. For now I will enjoy this as far as it takes me. Before trouble hits. Then I'll have to quit. But for now I'll go as far as the road lets me. I'm not picky. All I'm asking for is usually a quickie. One, two, three and I'm gone. Some times it's easier said than done. O well, I am done being desperate. If things don't feel right. I'm gone. My instinct for life keeps me going. Unfortunately, some times my radar is fuzzy. I almost get stuck. I return usually victorious and relieved. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ the feeling of wonder the feeling of lightness my heart plays restlessly while my soul yearns wildly i reach to grasp i grasp to hold never letting go never releasing no misunderstood lyrics no forgotten melody i come faster than any train and i leave most steadily not ashamed of simple needs unafraid of simple greed i ask no questions i get no lies simple stories deep blue skies above me remind me to always yeild before i fall down the narrow passage down the endless hall ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ What any of that means? I don't know. Why I wrote it? I still don't know. I have no answers to what life is all about. I pretend that I know, but I don't. I gave up trying to help others see the error of their ways. No one likes if you constantly point out their mistakes. So I left it alone. Being the voice of reason. Reminding people of their misguided attempts at life. I am just as lost. I am probably most lost. I can't deny that I don't know the first thing about surviving. What I do is called living. Like I said I go as far as I can before I fall. It's better that way. It's better to know you have one foot in the grave, than to realize one day you have one foot out. I could try to be more dramatic about things. But I feel my words are dramatic enough. Not like anyone gets my point anyways. And if they did, would they care? Probably not. And that doesn't bother me. What bothers me, is that I try so hard to get it all across. I feel like some late night infommercial trying to sell 'deepness' to a crowd that only wants to buy my pasta maker. O well, let it be. No point in hurting one self just to make someone else see the 'light.' No need at all. Confusion is a bastard. Anger is a burden. I am merely me. Take it or leave it.