I dont' want to like him. or think about him. I don't want to feel like this anymore about him. He has a girlfriend. a wife. a female. I'm no match for someone else. Not for him. I'm living in an illusion. A grand illusion of mutual attraction. There is no attraction. There are no mutual feelings. There is no flirtaous nature. Shit he's back. And this is how I feel. About it all now. No more pretending. No more dreaming. The end.