I am up at 5 am. Classes don't start until 9. Getting up early is killing my laziness. I will miss being lazy. Day 1 of my new diet plan. I have made a list of foods I can eat. I will not eat anything not on the list. This is going to take self control and will power. I hope I can do this. I don't want to be a chunky girl forever. I want to get down to 110 lbs. No more, no less. I won't take more. I want this fat off of my bones. Suffocating my tissue. I don't know if I want to see any of the following today: Keith, I don't know. Pat, definitely don't know. Sarah, maybe. Mike (guy), again don't know. I'm a little lost in my thoughts right now. I had a dream, it wasn't a good one. I hate when I forget. What if there was a message I need to know? What if there's a sign I missed? My heart feels complicated lately. Dani called 5 times yesterday. I blew her off. I meant too. She doesn't know when to give up. I've always struggled to teach her this lesson. She pushes and pushes. Until I push back and curse. We are like bi polar magnets that can't get enough of 'happiness.' Today will be a long day. A 10 hour clas day. I will go insane. I will continue to fall behind. I need to catch up before it's too late. I should go now.