so we're cleaning. and cleaning. and packing up boxes. to move. and unpack. and pack again. packing memories. and double wrapping. memories. maybe i shouldn't have them here. family. cleaning. and helping. and touching our things. "these are our things" her things. they haven't. and wouldn't dare. i would tear them to shreads. maybe. i wish i had some sort of sign. that she was okay. there. in the sky. or wherever she may be. i wish i knew. or had a sign. of something i would know to recognize. i don't know. and i will go with my flow. as long as i can. for now. waiting. until time makes it all real. and clear again. i. just. don't. know.