2.5 days and it'll be over. done with. and changed. again. no more classes. no more grades. no more professors with work and stuff and stuff. no more literature. no more reading. no more worrying. no more stress. i assume. 2.5 days. and i'll know if i've made it or not. i'm going for not. i don't think i'll graduate. i don't feel it. i don't know. i don't talk to seb as much anymore. i don't know why. she annoys me now. more then before. rambling on about men and why men and how men and where men and men and more men and loving men and wanting men and men. she bores me. to tears. shameful. she's supposed to be my best friend. but i don't feel it anymore. maybe i'm jealous. envious. yes. i am. i can't help it. she's moving on. i'm moving in. nowhere to do nothing. i still need a job. i feel wonderless and dreamless and inspirationless. i want new things. and new dreams. and new wishes. and new. ness. i have an entire paper to type. i'm not even 1/3 done. finished. i'm screwed. most doublely. most undoubtedly. m is getting better. i assume. she's moving more. trying more. saying more. thinking more. wanting more. and being more. i'm happy. satisfied. i wanted her back. free. without that demon on her brain. without that endless sleep. i wanted her words and thoughts and to hear her wants. bickering is what i missed. and it's nice to have it back. take nothing for granted. for all things soon disappear. as will this. and that. and anything after. just like all things before. i'm rambling. and tired. and worn out. and done. saturday. the end of my times. the end is near. and close. and breathing down my neck. one more paper. one more thing to type up. one more thing one. more. i don't know where i'm headed. and don't know where my head is. i don't know my path. my need. my way. i'm lost. and loster. all these things i can't not foster. don't ask. or do. nothing matters. and i'm mattering nothing. poetry is lost now. words forgotten. my muse has gone. flown away. i need it all back. and i feel nothing now. numbness. i don't want to graduate. i don't need too. i'm satisfied in college. maybe? i don't know that either. i'm so tired. of learning. of dealing. of dreaming. of writing. of thinking. of everything. and more. tired. i think i'll go now and do more. type more. think just a little more. do just a little more. be done with it. eventually. i hope. and hope. dfn.