It's not easy knowing she's going to die someday. I keep a feeling of guilt way down deep in the pit of my stomach. I don't like thinking about death. I don't like thinking about other people's deaths. It's a dark and depressing subject. Death. It's a horrible realization. I feel guilty more than ever now. I want to escape. Some day I will need to leave. Some day I will leave her behind. The guilt caresses my heart so roughly. The regret pulsates triumphantly through my veins. After she is gone, I will be completely alone. No family. No close-friends. No one who cares, not really. No one who knows what they'll be losing once she's gone. No one who cares. For this I am riddled with guilt. For the things I've said. For the things I've done. For the things I've never said. For everything in between. Guilt is Death's best friend. I don't expect anyone to fully comprehend my paranoia. I don't expect pity or kind remarks. I only expect to feel this way forever. I expect more of nothing. Tonight I will sleep nervously. Tomorrow I will go to class just to sit and day dream. Tomorrow I will cry some more. Tomorrow I will smile. To all those going or gone. I bid thee sweet mornings and gentle nights.