im not like. the. other.other. girls. im not like. any. other. girl. or. so they tell me. i dont wear skirts. i dont wear lipstick. i dont talk with exaggerated verbs. i dont beg for help. i dont wear tight shirts. i dont. do this. i dont. do that. i cant help. being. different. i cant. help. liking the things i like. or. knowing the things i know. i cant help disliking the idea of wasting my time on someone elses dreams. i dont want a husband. i dont want the 2.5 annoying children. nor. that oppressive white picket fence. i dont want the minivan. or. family vacations. i want real. life. to be real. i want. real things to feel. i want stories to tell. i want fantastic memories. and. unregretted dreams. i want more then any professional job can give. money. isnt. matter. matter. isnt. money. and. meaning cannot be purchased at the mall. or. on sale. i want to exist. beyond existing. i want to breathe new air. every few months. i want to abandon all hope. and. head for the hills. and. hide. because. it all gets to heavy. trying to live. in the expected reality. is. in. my. mind. a burden. a rat race full of rats. speeding along and over and chasing a lie. i want. to chase my own lies. ---------- i got on danielles case. danielle yelled. cursed. and threw the phone. i suppose she wont speak to me again. and. thats fine. im used to being disliked. im used to being hated. and. i could give fuck all. because. as long as i say what i wanted to say. im fine. and. i wont watch angel suffer from her young.dumb. mothers mistakes. i wont watch angel fall apart. i refuse to step aside and watch. calling a child a bitch. putting dick ahead of a baby. angels still defenseless. shes still just a baby. and. danielle would rather get fucked. then be a mother. well. fine. i wont watch though. i dont want to be hurt anymore. so. ill let them go. before ill watch. -------------------------- i feel tired. but. good.