so she went to surgery. yesterday? no. the day before. it all blends together now. her head. her lung. her pain. her sleep. i wonder where she was. the time when she was gone. roaming around inside of her head. lost. confused. where was she? what things did she see? who did she speak too? who kept her company? did she know? did she hear it all? yesterday. late. she came to. and started talking. slowly. she was angry at first. angry and scared. torn apart, put back together, and alone. she relaxed. mellowed. became herself again. for awhile. i got to talk to her. to hear her voice again. without her fading away. gone. we spoke. we spoke of everything that happened. she may not remember. she may be scared. but the worst is over. gone. vanished with the elminated tumor. the evil thing inside her head is gone. scared off by the hands of the doctorman. and this is how it is. and i'm still scared. and nervous. and shaky. but she's fine. good. lasting light of life. she's going to be okay either way. we had a chance to speak. to talk. to learn. to love. to know. i graduate soon. but it's not on my mind. i'm lost now. i know i have too. or i should. and i will. i'm sure. it is all so weird and wonderful some times. and so horrible other times. life is a puzzle i think i'm better left not understanding. i have class now and should go and will and must and what not. please let her be alright. just a little bit longer. just a little bit. just a little. just a. dfn.