Another day, another hour, another minute, another second, another life all together. I need to drop this class and I need to drop it fast. I talked to Pat today. I am giving up on my feelings (or whatever they are) for him. I am not his type and that's how it is. So farewell crush. I am tired. Sleepy. Overly fatigued. I passed Keith today. I didn't stop. I didn't make an effort to stop. Why should I? I am not an entertainment source for people when they decide they are bored. Besides, he doesn't matter. He has a girlfriend. And I am also not his type either. Why plague my own heart with the distant, impossible hope for a deeper relationship? It's all crap today. I have no more chaos to feed my addiction. Tonight will be a hard night. I will need to fill my meaningless time with some other more productive activity. I am hoping that this will work. I am hoping I won't go insane. My mother and I are calm again. The general calm right before the horrible storm. Our emotions are on battle time. We will fight again. Each fight will get worse. I will leave. I don't want too. But. I don't want to stay. Living there is only inhibiting my chances of actually having my own life. I am not afraid any longer of anything to come. What happens, happens. I am done for now.