Today is Saturday. Last night I barely remember falling asleep. I like feeling happy. Controlled. Chaotic. My tooth is still throbbing. Throb. THROB. If I'm not patient I will end up overdosing on Tylenol and Aleve. Pain sucks. I dreamt last night, but I can't remember my dream. I admitted my crush on Pat to my mother. She laughs. She thinks I'm beautiful. Of course she does, she's my mother. If he doesn't respond in a week. By e mail or phone. Than I will leave him alone for the rest of the semester. I won't be a complete fool for this guy. As for Keith, it doesn't matter either way. He's got a girlfriend and he likes to be a (man-whore). I'm beginning to believe that I am no one's type. I am my own type. And meant to be alone because of it. My throat hurts. Dry. Stuffy. Itchy. Throbby. I won't do much this weekend. I haven't done anything in a long time. I need to get out more. Go out more. My mind is on a million things right now. Each thing more tiring and depressing than the last. I wish they sold happy pills on the market. Happiness in a bottle for only $99.95. The money they would make. Inside I am pleading for Pat to call me. To e mail me. To do something. I know it's useless hopes. I am sure he acts that way with every other girl he's around. With my shitty luck he's probably gay. I wouldn't doubt it. When the hell is it going to be my turn? What more do I need to do? I am tired. I am barely awake. I am depressed. I am hurting. I am relaxed. I am smiling. I am done for now.