glass pipes dressed in white.

denial is the strongest drug.

he comes. he goes. he forgets. and then he knows.

fading back and forth and forth and back.

and again.

i say come back home.

the streets are a lonely place. where wolves lie in wait.

zombies. walking around speaking gibberish to themselves.

drooling curse words. and begging for change. money. that is. not real. tangible change.

welcome to tweaker nation.

north las vegas blvd is key.

he locks himself up with strangers in a room to ingest. digest. to breathe in those poisinous fumes.

he was gone 4 days the last time.

and i drank my time away. not caring.

he showed up on and off.

eyes bugged out. jaw grinding anger.

accusations of cheating. accusations of paranoia. of delusion.

all because. he loves those fumes.

chemicals.

given to him by scum that roam these streets here.

we/re in the lowest of the low.

but life is possible.

family is possible.

my riot. my shy. my ruckus.

deserve more.

more from both of us.

i drink to numb the pain.

he smokes to bring the pain.

a cycle.

a hamster wheel.

of hatred and resentment.

piling up like bones in a grave.

dug too deep.

and too wide.

but.

i will remain hopeful.

i will find my faith.

i will trust.

i will remain.

almost. tactfully. sane.

i pray for the company he keeps.

i hope he can stay clean while wandering our streets.

i can/t keep him safe all of the time.

but.

i can do my best.

i pray that this is the last.

very last.

horribly.

treacherous.

test.

Old Habits