i lie. i lie to everyone i know. i lie to myself most of all. i lie and lie and lie and lie. and. never actually stop. i love lying. i love telling the lie. getting away with the lie. and. laughing about the lie later. i just spent 2 days drunk. in a vodka induced coma. for no reason at all. just because. i could. a gallon of drink. all gone. i started drinking and only stopped when i ran out. and now. my bodys sick as fuck. and my mind cant concentrate. and ive been throwing up for hours now. no food. because i havent eaten in the last 12 or so hours. and i cant remember eating when i did. fucked. doomed. im doomed. i give up. i quit. i say THIS TIME IS THE LAST TIME. until of course the next time. im in misery and i cant seem to quit. how the fuck did i make it this long. why am i still around. what in the fuck am i accomplishing other then a slow miserable suicide. and i say ILL STOP. until of course the next time. im not losing. because ive already lost. its only a matter of time. i want to quit. i want to be normal. and nice. and alive. but. i feel that its too late. my stomach is twisting. im drained. im tired. of being me.