No music nor mood. Just me. I thought I'd add another little lame entry tonight. It's such a nice night for venting. SEB isn't angry. She's at a concert now. Probably tearing things up. I worry about our friendship. I worry about it all. I've decided to write a book. To really try this time. A book of short poems and stories that will eventually explain my life. Of course it will all be subconsciously hidden. I need to make my move before my chance passes me by. Before fate decides to try someone else. I feel kind of ill right now. My head doesn't feel right. Spinning but still. Dizzy but okay. I don't know. I don't know anything anymore. Things come and they go. People arrive and than they leave. Situations constantly change. It all goes by so quickly. Sometimes I feel like I'm watching a movie. Life. It just doesn't seem real some days. I keep waiting to hear some theme music and for a commercial to interrupt it all. Than again, maybe these temporary breaks of sanity are really the commercials of my life. Who knows. I know I don't. I won't pretend I do. I can't. I'm too honest attempt that. I'll probably drink tonight. I can't say I won't. It's upstairs waiting for me. Temptation. I can try to avoid it all I want, but eventually the battle will begin. I'm not strong enough to win yet. Yet. Maybe someday I'll be tougher. Wiser. More mature. Although I believe maturity is highly over-rated. Saturday. Already Saturday night. Oh how I crave for a social life. It's all standing still now. Paused. I'm trapped in another boring commercial. Hmm. Done for now.