i have not broken down. not really. and now. bring on the legal circus. bring on the pain of boredom and work. and hurting from the inside. like a thorn stuck in my side. aching. pulling. she is gone. gone is she. left. passed. kicked the inevitable bucket. flown the coop. gone. missed. i miss her. miss her. i do. i have yet to cry. really cry. one of those endless cries. tears. and tears. i have yet to do that. break down. i don't want to. for the tears would never end. i would like to curl in a ball and go to sleep. forever. and a day. until i woke up. to her again. seen her again. held her again. o i would have taken care of her forever. and a million days. infinite. i would have taken care of her forever. and a trillion days. i would have. i miss you. i miss you. i do. my mother. my mother. mine. i am alone. and it hurts very much. i am now my only family. i am now my only family. i am now. alone.