There is no problem to great that cannot be solved by lighting a joint. If only I were so lucky. Today is the beginning of the official countdown until classes are finally over. I have two stupid papers due Friday. And next week will be greatly filled with finals and what not. I am at a loss. I know I shouldn't go out tonight, but I need too. It's hard to explain. I'm just getting fed up with everything. Especially the guys I've had the experience of enjoying this semester. I seen K briefly today. He was in the hallway too early for me to approach him seeing as I was caught in a boring class. I don't know why, but each time I see him I just get happy. It's weird. Not a love happy, but just happy. I wish we could've spoken today. We probably won't get to speak again. It's sad I think. SEB had somewhat of a downing on our little conversations I think. I spoke to P today too. He didn't seem too interested so I didn't bother to act interested. I wish I'd see him outside of class, but I know that will never happen either. All I want is a blue drink tonight. One maybe two blue drinks. And at least one Smirnoff Triple Black. That would make my day much better. In less than an hour I have a Lab Exam in Human Biology. I'm going to fail it. I know it. I am going to probably fail all of my classes this semester. It's my own fault, I know. Maybe if the whole John dying thing wouldn't have happened I would've been doing a little better. Maybe. This year has just been one thing after another. I hope we don't spend all night talking about the two guys I don't care about. I know how SEB gets. Man if only I could wish and turn myself into someone else. I'd be happy than. I feel like a fat cow today. Given my experience yesterday I am a fat cow. I've decided to shed some weight. A whole lot of it. Not that I weigh 500 lbs, but I don't want to get there either. It sucks being abnormal when everyone else expects you to fit into this tiny little airheaded mold. I'm not a Barbie sorry. Oh well. Maybe today will go fast and the night will get here quick. I have a lot of work to do if I'm going to get these papers done by Friday and go out drinking tonight. Jees. I should stay in. I'm torn. But I know I'll inevitably decide that going out is the best choice. I'm such a slacker. Done for now.