sarah wanted to hang out tonight. bobby has gone away for a day or so. which explains her new need for me. and. i sadly declined. instead to go out with caryn. jorge. tracey. and. bitterly. matt. im glad i declined sarahs offer. for i had a good time. a good time indeed. dontmistakemyhatred. for ungratefulness. for. i. am. thankful. for meeting a few cool people. who dont seem to mind me. who dont seem to mind me. being. me. and. liking me. this me. and. not a fake me. and. not the old me. being fake. im thankful. and. im scared that it will end too soon. and. i dont want that. to end. because. i like having a few nice people in my life. a few nice people. to have coffee with until 4 in the morning. to sit and bullshit with over absolutely nothing important. to feed me when im too lazy to pay for my own food. to put up with my nonsense. a few nice people. who i like. unfortunately again. i miss dan. and. i know i shouldnt. and. shouldnt. and. will try not too. but. he entertains me. unfortunately. but. i assume this crush will pass like all the others. i can finally think about joe without that twisting horrible pain in my stomach missing him. or. what i thought of him. dans too young. too rich. too intelligent. too involved with his girlfriend. and. soon he/ll be gone. and. that will be that. gone. and. gone. and. i just need to let it go. ive had enough practice in this silly stupid ass situations. i should be better at this. but. time will tell. and. ill let him be. i feel good. and. sick from all of the coffee. and. food. and. i feel happy. and. worried. all the same. all the same. about the same things. as usual. i hate to feel it end. i hate to feel things end. because. i am so alone. and. it isnt fun being lonely. it hurts. in the words of the disco era. i.will.survive.