i've been getting stoned. cold. all damned. day. i've been up stairs and downstairs and around stairs all weekend long. i've been smiling and laughing and kicking all month long. i've been going places. i'd like to paint again. and i'd like to write. i have an idea. a mind set. a theory. to settle. and get out. spread the word. about. i don't feel like waking up tomorrow. but i will. i woke up sitting at a table this morning. alone. in the dark. at a table. drunk. 2:12 a.m. today. from yesterday. friday highs. and lows. tears and things. and things. and. i feel sick. ill. to my stomach. i've been burned too long today. floating around too long. too long. the three blind mice. i am nervous. shaky a bit. today. i don't know why. i think i'll watch some thing. a movie. or. such. is the case. i feel sad today.