The weekend will be officially over tonight. Well it is today in all actuality. I did nothing this weekend except get high, chill with Dani, and watch movies with my mother. I didn't even study. I have to take a make up test tomorrow morning at 9 in the a.m. I will fail. I also have to drop my class before I fail it. I am a procrastinator by nature, nothing will ever change that. I have decided that for once in my life I would like to know what it feels like to be thin and healthy. I was only ever thin when I was a child. I guess in all honesty I am just sick of being the fat chick who is dependent on food. So many problems. So today I will clean my room, take a shower, smoke a little, and study. Hopefully this list will go as planned. I'm not thinking about anyone today. I realized last night I will never be in love. I will ever be loved. I will never be "lucky." It's not a sad thing. It's just an honest thing. And I won't think about Pat at all anymore, never again. I will not dwell on this dude. Dani will probably call later. I'm supposed to go down there, but I have so much to get done tonight. Why does everyone I know have to live miles away? And why can't they ever keep their phones turned on? Pay a bill damnit. I feel caught between hyperness and hatefulness. Than again, I'm always angry. It's my nature. I'm rambling again and I don't like it. Nothing is making sense. It's all too jumbled up and chaotic. I think I am done for now.