Yes it is official, I am a loser. I should have expected this. Feeling like this because of him. It's ridiculous I know. And sad. And pathetic. And stupid. And pitiful. I guess I just got my hopes up, which I should have known was wrong. I suck and I accept it. I accept the fact that I will never get anything, especially anyone, I want. It hurts to be alone. And to know you're always going to be alone. I really thought. I realize I was really wrong. He had to have checked his e mail by now. Screw him. Fuck it. I don't care anymore. What's another rejection. Another passed chance. Another fucking crush. I feel bad today. I'll feel bad tomorrow. I'll get over this disappointment eventually. I always do. The heart will mend. The wounds will cover themselves. The scars will remain hidden away. At least I got to know him for a little bit. A minute. A second. Never long enough, but still. Today is Shannon's birthday. I haven't seen him in so long. I hope he's okay. He's 21 today. I'm sad. I'll get over it. Right now it's just eating away at me. Hurting. Twisting my stomach. I'm okay. I'll be fine. Eventually. Done for now.