and this is a new day with the same old worries and the same old tricks. not being tricked. im tired. nervous. anxious. and i dont enjoy these emotions. i am not used to them. i am not used to much. not really feeling is quite more appealling to me then the actual dealing im supposed to be...doing? if nothing comes through. im on the road again. alone again. headed nowhere very fast again. but. maybe. this is the way it was meant to be. and. maybe. i shouldnt have taken my chances staying here. maybe. 3 times is the charm and you cant go right from being wrong. maybe. maybes. are too fucking difficult to imagine right now. and my life is once again hanging by a thread.