Spent most of the day at the hospital. John was ill. John is dying. Doctors. Nurses. More nurses. Estimated answers. I don't know what to do about anything. I am tired and just worn out from everything. I don't feel like fighting, smoking, or driving. I feel like wasting away into some unseen shadow and resting for a few thousand years. Pat isn't online. This bothers me. I need to get over it. I will, eventually. I get over everything eventually. Dani is probably mad. I was supposed to visit her today. But things happen. I would've called, but her phones shut off. It's difficult to contact someone who had no means of communication. I wish this was all some horrible nightmare. Maybe tomorrow I'll wake up. Everything will be lovely again. Easy. Nice. I wish. Keep John safe from pain and harm. I am done.