i enjoy the drinking here immensely. i do not enjoy the rushed feeling that comes along with it though. it seems in this place it all must happen very fast. without the chance to settle down and settle in. daniel. has unfortunately become annoying. it was due to happen though. spending too much time playing with someone mentally can get a bit tiresome. and. i dont particularly like him believing he/s so much more intune. i am not as dumb as i seem. its all merely a burden to be so intelligent all the time. when being un-smart is so much easier and less stressful. its hard to explain i guess. then again after drinking jackdaniels for a few hours last night anything is hard to explain. i need to find a friend who has no fears. no goals. no aspirations. and. no need to get anywhere fast. i need a person like me in my life. a person who isnt going to give a shit if i get fired. or. stoned. or. insanely intoxicated. or. stupid. a person who isnt so controlled by the desperate american dreams. but. then again maybe a person like me would be just too much. too impossible to deal with after awhile. because. if we both didnt give a shit and got extremely loaded who would make sure i got home alright. or. didnt get picked up and taken away by crazy fiends. i dont know. i miss erie during times like this. because. when we get fucked up. we get fucked up all night and if possible day long. and. after a few hours of required sleep. we go right back at it for another session. i havent found that crowd out here yet. and. i guess like i said i dont really need someone like me in my life. it would get too crazy bad then. maybe. i ramble when im half sober. and half awake. i need clothes. maybe. ill go over to the ghetto walmart and see whats up. i dont think ill be bothering dan today or tomorrow or again. he/s become an itch.