that feeling. of. love. intensifying love. sickening love. disgusting love. love. that thing that only comes to some of us. and passes the rest by. without. even a glance. that love. that growing. festering. infectious thing. that thing. of which. i cannot. have. and i dislike hearing about it. but. people do talk. and words do come. and the thing. is mentioned. again and again and again. my mind hurts. as well as my heart. as well as my soul. as well as my love. it all hurts.