the temperature here is astounding today. and. will only be getting worse. as. the. time. passes. into. summer. from. whatever. it. was. before. and now i am stuck between a rock and a tough place. where am i going to live. if i decide to stay. this apartment. is too expensive. and. i still now have no car. and no possibly of getting one. and. time is now ticking. the clock has started. count down begins. i need to set aside at least 100. in case nothing works. and i am forced to leave. and. go back to hell. with my head hung low. because. i dont want too. not really. i havent been away long enough. i havent had time to change enough. i havent had a chance to learn new ways. a new personality. i am not ready. and i dont want to return there. not yet. no. damnit. i need to find a new home. a home all my own. and a car. to use. and things to do. and people. i will meet people here. i will. i have too. make new friends. i do. i want too. i dont have friends back home. my family. if i count danielle and seventh street. and thats about it. quickly. must find options. must stop returning home. i dont belong there yet. i havent had time. i havent really tried. damnit.