i have not. or did not write much of her. not really. nothing good. but we did have good times. didn't we? i am still waiting for some sort of sign. that this is all some dream. some horrible dream. and i can't think too long about her. for my heart aches. from all of the mistakes. i've made. and did make. and will make. and i am sorry. i sit. and it. all feels. unreal. she can't be gone. not really. no. but she is. and god how it hurts. to know. that i missed it somehow. i still did not cherish her. as i should have. and it breaks my heart. and i am sorry. i am truly am. for all the wrong i have done. and continue to do. and will do. and i am sorry. for loving too much. and not enough. at the right times. god, it hurts.