i dont know what it is i feel. lately. i feel hollow. empty. something there existing. below the surface. that i cannot seem to touch. i dont know how i feel anymore. i feel fine. then the guiltiness covers over. suffocating. and. why. why. i feel bad over the smallest indiscretion. i feel bad over my own creation. i feel bad. all over. inside and outside. inside and outside. throbbing pain. i cannot seem to rid myself of. i feel torn in two. torn. and. torn. i hate feeling numb. id rather feel anything then that numbness. that covers so completely. and. rides so deeply. i used to feel something more. and. now i feel like just lying on the floor. and. never moving. again. id like to just crawl in bed. and. be nothing. but. stiller then death. a whisper like the final breath. and. i feel so incomplete. a missing that makes me only want sleep. i feel too close for comfort. i feel too settled for comfort. waiting. for it all to fall apart. and. i feel like i did before in erie. and. i dont like it. i just dont know what to do. nor say. nor think. tomorrow. or. the fading today.