of everything is always lifting. and. turning. and. twisting. and. i would say burning. but. that comes too close to sense. o daniel. o danny boy. and. all those boys before. and. i know i cannot hold on. and. i know its silly. and. dont you know. i know. that these things come and go. come.and.go. i am feeling lighter but heavier. and. all the same old fears keep creeping high and around. suffocating. and. i want more than it all. but. i know how to survive on less. because. i do know what is best. i will not analyze. i will not figure out the hidden meaning. because. sometimes a rose is just a rose. and. sometimes it means more. but. not this time. nor the next time. if i can help it. life is what you make of it. and. i refuse to make less. than i should. id like to feel important to someone. id like to just hug. and. cuddle in a sillyass way. id like to be something more to someone. than just a smiling face. by no means am i ugly. but. by all means do i feel so. almost worse then darian gray. i want signs. i need signs. i crave signs. i need something to tell me that im not so bad. and. i know i shouldnt need such silly validation. but. i fear my heart doesnt know what i should and shouldnt. it only knows that it has been some time since its felt anything for something. and. all i need now is the right thing. when it all comes down to the worst minute of your life. never fear using the words. fuck you.