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Listening to: Incubus
Feeling: lonely
  life or something like it I don't know how I am going to survive in an environment where I am going to have to study and not blow projects off... I am going to die. I seriously worry about this. I have a severe addiction to procrastination. oh man. It hurts. Procrastination hurts. It physically pains me and yet I do it anyway. What the poo is wrong with me?! Sometimes I hope I die before I have to deal with the real life. Like Happy Bunny says, "School prepares you for the real life, which also sucks." I'm feeling so dreadful. I just want to throw up and cry and kick and scream. But instead, I'll just sit here wallowing in my self pity. This is not fun. How will I ever survive college? Or even the rest of high school? I'd be an A student if I had a drive. Instead i'm a car with tons of potential, spending all the gas sitting in neutral, blasting the AC and the radio...Doing nothing, going nowhere...wasting energy on things that don't even matter. Its like I need incentive to do anything. Maybe I'm all alone, maybe everyone else is just like me. I harbor all these angry feelings and I don't have an outlet. I can't let go of my anger without hurting someone I love and my pain is worth not hurting them. Yes...I'm happy. Happy and angry. Happy and terribly, terribly depressed.
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