2:01 Saturday Afternoon   I'll Dance for It tango is intimacy. the kind of dance that i could only execute with someone whom I loved. and i miss it. i miss the intimacy. the way our minds and fingers were both intertwined. i miss the lawn we'd sprawl out on and watch the stars searching for satellites. a sign of humanity in a dark, humanless sky. the calm way the satellites would trace their paths across the night, with my head on his shoulder, with my hand on his chest and his hand in my hair. making up constellations when there are no satellites to see. I miss the playground, swinging on the swings and randomly going down the slide, and pushing each other on the merry-go-round. I miss the trips to the bus station, to catch the first bus that came our way, to an unknown place for an unknown adventure. the time we ran away and watched the sun set, the time we bought jelly-fish-on-a-stick and watched the waves get darker and darker, the rugby games on the couch in his room. the kisses on the cheek whenever I'd boo the team playing ours. and i wish... I wish so hard that it was more than a month. and that i wouldn't have to wait another 7. and that he'd come again in May and I could tell everyone that the boys here are so crappy that i had to import one to go to prom with. and... someday we'll get married. we'll fight over the bills... and then kiss and makeup and tell each other that money is not important. and I'll rub his shoulders after a hard day at work. and we'll discuss politics when we spread the newspapers out on the floor and read them like little kids read the sunday comics. and when we go to my home for christmas, my dad will ask me when i'm going to give him grandchildren and I'll say when the world stops being so painful. maybe someday i'd change my mind, and we'd have children, and we'd read them bedtime stories that we wrote and play games as a family. and we'll grow old together. die together. we'll be together again someday, sooner than I think.