10:32 Wednesday Night   Pretty Memories Won't Bring Me Back I don't know anymore. .. "Maybe he doesn't know how to talk to you." "He didn't need to know." "You needed to tell someone." "People know. He didn't need to." "Would you have told me?" .. She didn't know. It hurts. And it doesn't seem fair that I have people to talk to, I have people whose shoulders I can cry on and she. I don't know. I wish I could be her shoulder, but my shoulder doesn't extend 7,000 miles. I wish I knew how she felt, I wish I could make her better. I will pray about it. I will pray for answers. I just want to see pictures of her in her ugly navy graduation gown, I want her to be at my wedding, I want to be at her wedding. We've been through a lot together, a lot of different stages of life, and I miss her so hard. so hard but how can I tell her that? Anyway, youth group bible study thing was tonight. It was pretty good, Rod didn't hit on me, maybe because Simon and I and Caleb (and even Timmy the Dog) were crammed too tightly on the couch. Heh. It was almost as though Simon was flirting with me but as if -that- would ever happen. The topic was 1 Corinthians 13, i really liked the chapter, but no one seemed to want to discuss it, really. I did. And Caleb did. But neither of us is assertive enough to express that. I tried, a few times going back to "So, Love." but to no avail. Really funny, though, 9:30 p.m. neared and I was getting ready to get up and call my dad after the prayer, I looked up and there was my dad, standing outside the window. I screamed, surprised that he was there, and it was very very funny. I'm so tense, I don't know. School was pretty good, in Tech, Nik and I shirked work by making a parody infomercial and it was so very humourous. Nik is quite clever. I wish I was clever/witty. anyway, i should go to bed soon. I'm feeling a mite guilty because last night I only did 25 situps instead of 50. Will I do 75 tonight? Probably not. I had an excuse-I was feeling really horrible. Although i did wake up this morning perfectly fine, just incredibly tired and wishing that i did feel bad just so i could sleep for the rest of the day.