Thursday, 3:05 p.m.   The End is an Excellent place to Start I fell asleep in June I woke up in July. I'm thinking about writing a novance romel. Or even a romance novel. Today was a calmish sort of day. I gave in and got a back pack. I cut off the brand name because I hate people knowing what brands I buy. It's shit. I'm not going to pay a company to advertise for them. And also cutting it off with my pocket knife was strangely satisfying. Maybe later I'll deface it with sharpie. I wonder what I should write. maybe just random thoughts that come into my head. I don't know. But I hate the new-back-pack look. it pisses me off for some reason. I'm going swimming today. I don't know. I'm kind of scared. The water will be cold? I'll be slow like a slug? I'm scared. I'll smell like chlorine. I need a good arms/abs work out. I need to call Scott. Maybe I don't need to call him, but it would be fantastic to hear his voice again. absolutely fantastic. here I go. ----------------- 7:28 p.m. I went swimming this evening. It was a practice time? And only one lane was open for public lap swim. There were three people in the lane already when I got in. And then another guy later. I love swimming. I forgot how much. I don't love competition, but swimming lap after lap after lap... As long as I'm alone and don't have to fight other people in my lane (two fat "breast strokers" who were really just blocking the lane. They didn't know what they were doing, it was obvious. They need to be in water aerobics, not lap swimming, a woman who was swimming freestyle at about my speed, and then the guy who was faster than me). As long as I can go at my own pace. Just counting, lap after lap after lap. Just swimming. Just letting all my frustrations out through the steady strokes of my arms. I didn't swim that much. Just 650 meters. I got a headache after 500 and didn't bring a water bottle. And then I just got frustrated after another 150 meters and quit. Maybe I'll try another day. In any case. I did enjoy just swimming. like I said, just lap after lap. Only pushing myself a little bit. So calming. Not thinking about anything but the water around you, breathing, flipturn, stroke. Mmmm, freestyle.