12:00 early monday morning (5 August 2011)

How can summer leave?

Yet I so look forward to fall.

Went with some friends to the Ghostland Observatory concert opened by Phantogram. It was amazing. and fun. I was worried it would be awkward, and at times it was. Mostly it was me and my best friend from the latter half of my senior year of high school (specific, right?). Thena and her friend disappeared into the crowd pretty early on. To my surprise, this high school friend hung out with me the whole time...we danced, laughed, watched birds, and partied. I'm glad I wasn't alone...and honestly I like having attention paid to me, I know, guilty as charged.

At one point in the concert, it got too hot and crowded in the grass by the stage, so we ducked out to keep dancing in a less people-are-always-touching-you place. It was kind of sad to me, so few people dance to some obviously dance-inducing music. A girl in a cute outfit did come by and say "hey, can I join your dance party?" and she danced with us for about a minute before leaving for cooler things to do. Then a nice (fat, middle-aged) drunk man came wandering by. Drunk Guy (DG) started talking to my buddy, shook his hand and asked, "So is this pretty girl here your lady?" (my thought: aw he thinks I'm pretty!) My friend tells him no, and then DG says something about my beauty (of course alcohol does make for blurred vision..) and kisses my hand. I stiffen and tell him that I am married. At the same time, my friend also says "uh she's married! but not to me." and then nice old DG turns to him and says "well you take care of her, alright?"

He laughs. I laugh. DG stumbles away into the night. The concert ends and remarkably, Thena and her friend run into us in record time after the final encore. I was worried we'd have to search ages but their exit trajectory took them exactly to the place where we were standing. We drove Thena to this guy's house where she is spending the night. Once we've dropped her off, the rest of us drive back home. Thena's friend is asleep in the car for most of the way home and my high school friend and I talk about music, and I find that I am having a progressively worse and worse allergy attack (probably from all of the smoke at the concert). My nose was dripping like crazy so I asked my friend to look in the glove box for some tissues. I turn on the inside car light for him since my glove box doesn't have its own light, and he finds all the things I keep in my glove box "just in case" like the pantiliners, make up remover wipes (which smell nice and are essentially the same as baby wipes, ingredient-wise), ibuprofen, etc. And then he pulls out a strip of condoms that Caleb and I brought camping once...and says "well I guess these aren't them.." and I glance over to see what he's holding and say "uh, no..." and don't bother defending myself. So he puts 'em back and we decide there are no tissues so hand me a goddamned makeup remover wipe so I can remove the snot from my nose. GOOD TIMES. It was really funny for me because while I am 99% sure he's a virgin, he still knew what they were...and decided to bring my attention to the fact that they are in my glove box and they are not tissues. I was trying really hard not to crack up so I just changed the subject back to music. oh man.

Thena thinks he still has a thing for me and I'd never say so out loud but to feel desirable is a good feeling, I just wish it didn't involve..you know. Actual feelings on the part of other people... and knowing that your actions may be driving another person's sadness. And it was really anguishing for me for a while too because I still hold a flame for him too, even though the thing that never happened between us didn't happen a long time ago. I'm talkin nearly 10 years ago. Maybe if I'd never gone to New Zealand, or if he'd have been a little less shy or if I'd have been a little less mean..but the fact of the matter is that it never happened and so. It also really sucked because I really enjoy hanging out with him. Every time I spend time with him I end up thinking about him a LOT for a week or so, and it really worries me because it makes me feel threatened. Luckily the thoughts dissipate and I just think "well I won't hang out with him again in a one-on-one situation" and everything stays cool.

Dyed my hair blue again, bigger and brighter this time. Brighter every time.

I really miss being blonde but I'll stay blue until November so I can be Sailor Mercury for Halloween.

Thena is leaving for greener pastures in less than two weeks and it's killing me. She'll be gone for 8 months and I honestly don't know what I'll do without her. She is one of my best friends, so level headed and brave. So many things that I am not and yet so wonderful to spend time with. On the same day she leaves, two awesome things happen though. Caleb and I will celebrate our 7th anniversary...I can't believe it has been so long...and then to make me feel even older and more nostalgic, that is the same day as the release of a book for which I've been waiting a literal decade. Oh my god. Sailor Moon's re-release in English, unflopped is coming up! And I preordered myself a copy on Amazon!!! YAYAYAYAYA

Also, Hellbell and I have a class together this semester again and she's doing an internship in my lab. Rock on! Maybe now I'll have more motivation to get shit done at work.

back to robot unicorn attack.