10:29 Late Sunday Night (24 April 2011)

Easter, the fight between Zombie Jesus and Consumerism

I dragged Caleb out of bed today to go to church. I mean, I'm on the damned Session; the decision-making committee overseeing much of the activity and planning and improvement of the congregation, so I MIGHT AS FREAKING WELL go to church on Easter Sunday of all days. Caleb and I went to church on Palm Sunday last week for the whole-church breakfast and donkey parade, and then actually ditched out before the sermon actually started. Today I was like I AM GOING TO GO TO CHURCH DAMNIT AND YOU ARE COMING WITH ME BECAUSE WE ARE GOING TO PUT UP A FACADE OF PIETY SINCE I'M A FUCKING ELDER. Which is my favourite feeling because I think all these curses that I avoid saying outloud even though supposedly God can read my mind and knows I'm thinking them anyway. I know God has a sense of humour (I mean, look at Australia), so hopefully He thinks I'm funny.

And that was a little....tension-driven because I knew I was going to be pissed at Caleb for the rest of the day if he stayed in bed while I went to church and he knew he was going to be annoyed at me if I made him get up. Ultimately I won out, and his annoyance fizzled once we were there and got to see the adorable children explain that platypi are things that hatch out of eggs (told you God had a sense of humor). Also our pastor's sermon was really powerful, blah blah.

Then we went to Walmart and Kroger's to see if Easter Candy was on sale yet, and wandering down the "easter candy aisle," I felt sickened by the fluorescent lighting, the yards upon yards of plastic packaging, the Nestle candies, the giant-eared easter bunnies, and pastel colours. I wondered about the ethics of making bank on a guy who always condemned the rich, greedy, and self-righteous. Then I thought about how we go back to work tomorrow, and holiday time for Christian holidays, and how we get a week off for Christmas and nothing off for Easter, even though theologically Easter is the far more important holiday. You know, the holiday recognizing the resurrection after a defeat of death - eternal life in heaven - forgiveness of all human sin. That thing, rather than the virgin birth (which, by the way, I still feel bad for poor Mary about - all that wretched pain and humiliation with none of the fun that goes beforehand. I keep mentioning God's sense of humour - if He thinks that's ok, then He'd better be ok with my internal vulgar monologue), is the real crux of salvation and Christianity. We should be planting trees and flowers on Easter rather than stuffing ourselves with ham and candies. I do like candies though.

Anyway, I just sat around pondering the cognitive dissonance of going to church and then immediately going to Walmart while Caleb loped around dejectedly because the candy was all still full price; then I thought I might write a blog about it.

Happy Easter, or Spring Ritual of Some Kind, or whatever you celebrate....but if whatever you celebrate is based on a religion of some kind, please at least consider your religion in your festivities. Me? I went to church, then Walmart, then stuffed myself with candies and meat (salmon) (and peeps, if you count gelatin). HOORAY FOR HYPOCRISY