9:27 Early Friday Night   The Annoyances that Built Up he doesn't have time for me. and i have too much time. i feel so pathetic. like he doesn't love me as much. and that makes me hate him kind of. which makes me hate myself. and it's a big downward spiral from there. he hangs out with my friends. they probably like him better than me anyway. but the stupid thing is that i know that as soon as we talk again, i'll forget about all of this. I'll be smitten again. i still love him but i want to make him feel as awful as he's making me feel. because i'm a bitch. but i'm an honest bitch. that's why i wanted to hang out with steve tonight. kind of because it would kind of piss him off. so i'll play with steve tomorrow. i miss steve anyway. ----------------- 11:49 p.m. I promised, didn't I? homecoming, i'd sit around my house with a beautiful dress and pretty hair. with not a single person who can see. maybe i'm not as beautiful as i wish i was. but it's not like i have any reason to be beautiful anyway.