1:40 Saturday Afternoon   What I Want vs. What I need My arms are tired, I am lethargic. I feel listless and unhappy, and I am tensed up...though i just need to relax. I had to stop reading because I have a headache, and I almost feel ready to pass out or something, or that my arms are going to fall off, and this project we're doing in English is really quite formidable. I'm tired of males and females and government and corruption and money and immigration laws... I'm tired of me, and I want to get a grip on myself though I need to be happy, or at least convincingly fake it. I'm an open book. Read me, judge me, make decisions about what I'm like. I suck at hiding my feelings and I usually think it's better that way. Lies never help anyone. but sometimes I think he needs me to be happy, and lately I kind of suck at it. DDR kicks at-double-dollar, though. it's a temporary relief. I'm getting bored with everything. I'm finally caught up in all my classes and it's like...what do I do now that i don't have any homework? seriously. I need to call Craig and tell him we're hanging out...But Craig scares me because I never know if today is a day that he likes me or hates me. I like this diary. it's good to ramble in. Here's my brain, I'm opening it up and picking it apart, what will we find? last night my parents went on a double date. I'm jealous. I want to go on a double date. But oh well. my arms are shaking.